Flourless Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies
I realized part of this weighted down feeling I was suffering from (see previous post) was the weight of anxiety and frustration. But as far I could tell there was no clear source for the anxiety nor the frustration and I was trying my best to ride these feelings out. Roll with the punches I told myself. Go with the flow. I wasn’t flowing though, I was snapping back and grimacing and over all not carrying out my days in the most positive light.
One day last week when I was trying to free my mind, wandering aimlessly through blogs and tumblr accounts I was hit with three wonderful things. This flourless peanut butter cookie recipe, A song brought to me by my itunes shuffle selection, and another quote I came across online.
The song was a remix, a techno type song, completely not my usual taste but it happens to be one of my favorite workout songs. You know, one of those high energy beats that enters your ears and floods your toes and allows you to pick up that running pace just a bit? My favorite kind. The kind I relied on for runs at the gym. Notice I said relied on, past tense. My gym membership had lapsed years ago and with that so had my running habits.
The gym I thought. Should I join a gym? No I don’t have time. But running has always brought me such happiness in the past.
And the quote was this:
Instead of saying “I don’t have time” try saying “it’s not a priority,” and see how that feels. Often that’s a perfectly adequate explanation. I have time to iron my sheets, I just don’t want to. But other things are harder. Try it: “I’m not going to edit your resume, sweetie, because it’s not a priority.” “I don’t go to the doctor because my health is not a priority.” If these phrases don’t sit well, that’s the point. Changing our language reminds us that time is a choice. If we don’t like how we’re spending an hour, we can choose differently.
I don’t run anymore, and I don’t belong to a gym because being in the best shape that my body is capable of is not a priority. Say what?
I shut the computer and my mind began to race. Would it be worth it to re-join the gym even if I would only be able to go before work? What time would that mean I would have to wake up? The answer was before 4 AM and with that I quickly sought an alternative. Could I run outside? What about the days when I truly don’t have time? Then what would I do?
I love mornings. And I love working up a good sweat first thing. No matter what barriers come my way that day, knowing that I have already put sneaker to pavement (or treadmill) provides me with feelings of accomplishment and comfort. A shield, if you will, a shield of positive thinking with an ability to stand up against negativity, anxiety and the unknown.
What if I awoke at 4AM to run?
But it’s dark out.
And with that I headed to the sporting goods store to equip myself with some neon reflective gear.
I’ve fallen in love all over again. With my sneakers. With mornings. With running.
I don’t regret that hour of sleep I’ve traded in. Not one bit.
These cookies truly have nothing to do with running but they’re quick and simple and delicious. I think you need to head over here for the original recipe and make them. The only tweaking I did was to use smooth peanut butter with 1/4 cup chopped peanuts instead of chunk peanut butter – because I hate chunky peanut butter and wouldn’t buy it just for some cookies – and I also added miniature chocolate chips to the batter. Because life is better with miniature chocolate chips. And running.